The past was real...

After writing a post about my good friend Brenda, my past kinda poured into my head.
I was a very timid girl that was full of fears of the world. I knew my environment was considered to be a  more privileged environment as my school was considered a more prestigious school (IJ Toa Payoh) I was in this cocoon of Ij girls who either were lovable or bitchy but it can't beat the world outside. It was a comfortable blanket compared to the world of Poly that I went after IJ Toa Payoh.

I was not used to the environment of Poly and went through a downward spiral in my identity. I was also exposed to all kinds of people, religions and it made me really stunned by how horrific people can be when You're not into the popular gangs or in people's good book just because you are different from others.

I was just an average looking girl that was still looking for her worth and identity that is not defined by others.

It was a disaster in poly as all the monsters and fears appeared in that phase of my life. I was thankful that God was still with me through that phase and I became stronger because of the realities of life in poly. I am thankful still for the encounters in Poly as it really shaped me to be stronger and not to be timid like previously. I would literally apologise for the smallest things.

During my earlier days, I knew I had some chances with some people but my only focus was survival mode and to be able to go through my modules in school.

Okay, what I felt is all in the words that I choose in this post. I know the nightmare was in the past and I know there might be more challenges in my life. My faith did grow stronger through that rut and just know that God is there to help you. You might feel horrible in times of your life. He is there to make sure you get out of it... You might not find happiness at that period but he will eventually get you out of that dark massive hole.