I mean it

I have been spending a lot. Like a lot. Im going to cut down by a lot. I felt like I was not good enough (like I didn't do enough to express me), like something was missing. The money did not define who I was. Thus, I kept spending.

I finally understand about the story of a beggar who gave everything she had though it was only a few dollars vs someone who is rich giving his riches. The difference is that the beggar believed that God will provide. She gave everything away perhaps to learn something from it vs someone who gives away a portion but does not understand even the reason why he or she is giving.

I did not understand the story at first. Now I do.